Wondering if anyone would mind if I can respond without all the "wondering"?

I often wonder how my family members are doing or what they are thinking of on the anniversaries of family members' deaths or on their birthdays. These occasions stir up memories- good and bad. A suicide is much worse. One reason is the lack of closure, and you have many unresolved issues with your father

I can't imagine how it must feel to have to live with the conflicted feelings you must have about your father and his suicide… even after 36 years. I understand your mother had a difficult life, but it must be so hard to make peace with the decisions she made and have any kind of relationship with her

I am thinking of you, and hoping you are doing okay dealing with the memories surrounding this life event

I'm so sorry that you're still struggling with issues with your children. I don't know the specifics, or the extent of the problems, but it seems to me like you love them and really want them to be part of your life. You can close the door part way because their behavior right now is hurtful and you need to protect yourself, but leave it open a crack so they have an opening to get back in when the timing is right

I wonder if you realize you are still young Eva…
I wonder if you know there is still time for change

I wonder if you know I am hoping for good things for you because you are due