Wow, I understand what you mean. Mundane tasks and activities can be misery. I need tasks or activities where I am either being exposed to new information or needing to solve problems.

Do you struggle with anhedonia, a lack of an ability to experience pleasure ?

The contrarian issue could also be part of a rigidity of thought symptoms common to brain injuries. The brain feels a need to perfect, correct, or complete a concept. It takes a lot of discipline to overcome the urge.

I had to learn that even thought I think I know what is right, I don't have the right to nor is there a need to force this on others. This same concept fits with anger. Just because I emphatically know somebody is wrong and has cost me time, effort, insult, embarrassment or other discomfort, I do not have a right to get angry.

This rigidity of thought issue is quite a burden but we can be functional. Wives are a great asset. Mine will lightly hold my elbow. That is our cue.

I wonder if you may have a hormone or neurotransmitter disorder. Adrenal system dysfunctions are not uncommon. There are some blood tests and saliva tests that may help. Pharmasan Labs is one source. They have a conflict of interest because they also sell the supplements/treatments as NeuroScience, Inc at https://www.neurorelief.com/index.php?p=home

It would be worth asking about such testing and a referral.

One of the clinics I listed may have a behavioral psychologist who can help you, too.

Your sleep issues may be a big contributor.

But, I think you really need to get started on a brain health supplement plan like in the Vitamins sticky at the top of the NT PCS index page. Blood work to determine your B-12, folate, magnesium, D-3, hormones, Thyroid, and more would also be a good start.