To have my last child leave
Prince an icon
Of my era
All who have passed my era
What is wrong with the world
Amy
Michael
Nicole
Lord the list goes on
Many my age
Most drug related
Or cancer
Abusive behavior on the body
But gone
God it huts so badly
He knew something was wrong
As I told myself
If
If I should have lung cancer
I will not fight it
I will let it take me
To think my lung could be giving up
I will not fight
I just hope it won't take to long
I'm tired of keeping it together
The way I see it
There isn't any thing I leave behind that cares
Why should I keep up the fight
One good reason that's all it takes
Hey if I do have cancer and it isn't my hardwear killing me
I will not kill myself
Just let myself go
Why did he die
Why did she go
Why do we hurt
I have to put on a happy face for my grandchild
To have met a man just a couple of days ago
He jump to quickly for me
At sixty two maybe he couldn't read me
Leans in for a kiss
On my cheek yes
On my mouth
I just met him
This is NOT what I look for Heavenly Father
It just isn't for me anymore
Just for all this pain to stop
Just with my last breath
No more pain
I will not kill myself
I will just let myself go
Into my Fathers arms I hope
In the Fathers time
I won't kill myself
This I know for certain
I am dying already
I am tired
Tired of nothing
Nothing is empty
Empty is nothing
However you look at me I'm just done
Done having to be strong for others
Having to do for other
And the not so funny thing is
That all I know how to be
How to do
The problem solver
The one who made it work
The one who kept up the spirit
Nothing for me
That's how I feel
In the end
At the end of the day
When I lay my head down
And recite the Lord's Prayer
I don't know how it will be for me
I fret it WILL be painful
But over
Soon
It happened just like that
With ALL the others
Maybe for me also
Sad
Sad I am
My family who are who they are
And I do not like who they are
So I guess the feeling is mutual
No loss right
Everybody is doing their
THING
we are just hanging in
Eva looks at me and I just
die crying inside
Me