Hello, Joanna!
I'm not much good in the words department, but I wanted to tell you that there will always be people who can relate to you, understand you and support you. I'm new to this forum, but I can already see that there are a lot of kind and helpful people here who will gladly lend an ear.
While depression has to be battled with, it is understandable that you will feel this way while going through so much. I'm glad to hear that you find moral support in your son. Kids may be trying at times, but the kind of link that a parent has with their child is incredible.
I've been fighting depression, anxiety and BPD for most of my life. Ten years ago I thought that there will never be anyone in this world for me, because nobody will be willing to put up with all the baggage of violent outbursts and fears and my inability to function in the socium. I'm married for 6 years now, and I'm still disbelieving that someone so supportive has stuck up with me. And although I'm only reading messages, it seems to me that you are a great person, and you shouldn't doubt that you deserve to be loved and cherished.
I wish you all the best that is possible