Father
Brother
Mother Mary

I have much to be grateful for
Blessed to be here for my grand baby
She deserves so much more
It is only me
Mom and dad are part time parents
My sisters not in her life
My children not in her life
What did Eva ever do to anybody
Or any innocent child coming into this cruel beautiful world
we call earth
Blessed to be here as sick as I may be I get up for her
every single day
I suffer by the end of the day
Add to that the sadness
I cannot express how badly my body is
Pushing it the way I do will certainly have its ramifications
I have a hole in my heart with this riddled body

Heavenly Father
Please come to me
In Jesus I trust
I You I believe
Make it go away
Rip it out of me with Your loving touch
Robe me with a piece of that flannel shirt
Let me smell You
Let LOVE enter my soul
In my eyes sadness cries
In my head I know better
In my heart I did my very best
In my soul I am certain of all this
Am I not what You will have do
As I pray it please You
Your name on my tongue
Your Spirit in my heart
How can then my soul free
Free to live a life of happiness
After all the sadness

You say I am strong
This You only You can see
If I am to be sad can YOU please lift my sickness
Can you lift my physical being
And allow me movement without pain on just so many levels
Bless us Heavenly Father
Hold me
Love me
I hate taking pills for my pain
I gave up alcohol
Let me be high on life
Lift my spirits
Take care of my babies
Let them be touched by You
Never let go of me
I the abyss I do not want to ever be
I you name Jesus
Be my savior
Be my calm
Amen