Well, I haven't talked much about my neighbor lately that I've had the crush on a while back. Him and I have been talking here and there and just now we talked for a long time. He informed me that he has at the most 6 months to live. He nearly lost his life to cancer just recently. The hospital had him on life support. I need to be a good friend to him now and get ready to watch someone whom I've thought to be special since the beginning of March, die. We talked about death and dying and about his funeral plans. It was creepy but without the crush on him any longer I can talk about these things without too much difficulty. I still hold a special place in my heart for him though. I just have a feeling that I'm going to need a lot of hugs, love, and support to hang in there and look after him in his final days. That's if he'll let me. He wants for me to come back to his place tonight when he gets home from a cookout. And right now I'm still in shock too.

befuddled2