Hugs...I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time.

I don't know if my experiences will help you...and I've certainly been struggling lately myself and having to pull out every single trick in my box just to not completely lose it myself...but when it comes to coping here are the things that help me the most (aside from coming here...which you already do). Most of this involved finding activities I CAN do that make me feel good.

1. Audiobooks - I can't read anymore because I cannot concentrate anymore. After a page or so I start re-reading sentences over and over and over because I just get nothing. Even movies and stuff...I just get up and walk away (sometimes in the middle of something I REALLY want to see). Audiobooks gave books back to me. I put on my iPod and listen to them while I do other stuff. For some reason...listening to them works for me and I can focus. When I have particularly difficult time of it...I turn on a book I have read or listened to before so if my mind wanders it's no big deal.

2. Gardening - I started with just a couple of pots on the deck after I had spent the previous year or so basically trapped on my couch and I just wanted to be ANYWHERE else. My boyfriend got me a couple of pots for the deck and I picked out some flowers for them and sat on the deck (couldn't stand or walk much at that point) and planted them. Then I could sit outside and enjoy them or sit inside and look out at them throughout the spring and summer. Now I have a very large perennial garden outside that I add to every year and...umm...30 or so pots on the deck. It's a lot and this year I am thinking I will have to plant only one pot a day or have my boyfriend help with them (probably both)...but that's ok. Flowers make me happy and I find the beauty of the flowers to be relaxing. When I can't do anything but sit outside and look at them...that's ok...better than being on the couch sitting there feeling miserable.

3. Cross stitch - I love my stitching. I learned when I was young, then didn't do it for about a decade, and have now picked it up again. It's something I can do while sitting that I just lose myself in. I will turn on a book, stitch, and hours will pass. I've had to make some adjustments and right now I can't stitch for more than about 30 minutes before I have to take a rest...but the days still pass quickly and I just break up the stitching with other activities...maybe even just lay there with my eyes closed and listen to the book for a while. I also participate in online forums and Facebook groups about cross stitch because it's nice to interact online with others about something I love and that has nothing to do with my RSD.

4. Coloring - This is a new thing but I find it relaxing to mindlessly color designs with some markers. I am not creating masterpieces like I've seen some people do with colored pencils...I have some cheap markers and I just fill in with whatever color I want and lose myself in it. This is something I've been doing a lot at night when I can't sleep but am maybe a bit too tired to pull out the stitching.

5. Puzzles - I love puzzles. Haven't done one in a while but for a while these were a staple to my routine to take my mind off the pain. I like big ones with lots of small pieces. My physical therapist said that these and the stitching were actually very good for the RSD in my hands because it kept them moving and worked on my fine motor skills so I didn't lose those.

6. Music - This shouldn't be so far down on the list...as I use this a lot...but I'm not retyping to put it back up top...lol. Seriously...I have always loved music. I loved dancing to it and singing along. I can't dance anymore...but I can sing...so when I am home along I love to turn on crappy music that I love and belt it out...usually while doing one of the other above mentioned activities...but it makes me feel better to know I haven't lost that love of music.

7. Photography - I love taking pictures. Mostly of my daughter these days but also of the garden and scenic stuff too. Then...I love going on Shutterfly and making photobooks. I even use old digital photos and make photobooks from those too. It's fun and distracting. I don't print everything I make (though I sure print enough that I have a shutterfly package come at least twice a month to the house). But designing the books and playing with that stuff online is fun and distracting. So I TAKE the pictures when I feel up to being up and about...and I play on the computer with them when I don't.

8. Charity work - I did this last year...made 63 no-sew fleece blankets that I donated to the NICU in November (that was the month my daughter was there in 2014 for 11 days after she was born). The stuff we got when my daughter was there made me feel a little better...we still use the no-sew blanket she got there in her stroller when it's cooler out...so I wanted to give back. The no-sew blankets are a little hard for me to make...I don't tie them because that was too hard on my hands but I cut a little hole and loop the ties through there. Doing this REALLY made me feel good throughout the year. I started making them in May last year I think. Each blanket only cost about $3 to make (still a pretty big price tag but spread out over 6-7 months it wasn't too bad) but it made me feel SO good to do something for those parents with little ones in the NICU. Since I remember going through that it just reminded me of all the other things in the world that are so much bigger than what I deal with each day. I also donate small gifts to a local charity called the Little Giraffe Foundation like books and toys which was one of the charities we got stuff from in the NICU.

So...as I have typed this I realize that most of my coping techniques involve distractions. Work was the best distraction for me but I don't have that right now and that's obviously not going to work for you either. I guess it's just important for me to find ways for my life to have meaning and to still have a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. I have a few tv shows I watch but I really just can't sit and watch tv all day...I don't know how people do that. Maybe it's different when it's your CHOICE to not do anything else but for us when we are used to DOING things and working...it's just not enough.

Anyway...these are just things that help me get through my days and feel useful. They have the added bonus of distracted me from my pain...but I have to be smart because they can also elevate my pain and it's a fine line I walk making sure I know when to set something aside and rest or do something less physical.

I don't know if any of that helps you...I hope it does. Even if those particular activities don't interest you or work for you...hopefully you have some other things that you can find that will work. And with online forums and Facebook groups maybe you can find others who have a passion for those things that you can interact with. I know one of the hardest things for me has been an inability to go out and interact with people but with the internet it really gives me that experience without taking a toll on me like going out does.

Take care. Hugs.