I must preface this post by saying how disgusted I am that not only do I have to deal with Parkinson's the disease I also have to sort through information, discern the truth, and walk down a path largely unlighted to try to maintain or lose as little as possible of the abilities I now have. And while help is offered from many sources, who can truly help me with my disease? Who walks where I walk? The meds-makers? The doctors? My friends and relatives? Lots of these people truly want to help but as the Bible says "oh wretched man that I am...". And I am a fortunate man with Parkinson's.

Just 48 hours ago my biggest fear was that I would die and my death would be called cardiac arrest. And it might be true. But the real underlying question that I wanted to have answered was by whose hand? Did you see the report that medical errors are now the third leading cause of death? Conflicting prescriptions, side effects of medications and other misunderstandings and downright wrong conclusions wholly purposed for making money- all of these and more. And again, I am supposed to become a researcher to figure all this out. And I can't even get around to open my mail! But I digress.

48 hours ago I suffered one of the worst nights of my life. In retrospect it was probably medications that I stopped or food that I ate or a heart attack or medications that I take... Or a combination of all four, who knows? I don't want to be an alarmist but the system is way out of control. And what to do? As I sat in my living room surrounding myself with things that may not be able to get in a few more hours I had to decide what to do? Go to the emergency room? So they can tell me it's not my heart, talk to the neurologist? I don't mean to be sour on the whole medical community and I have a great health plan but really, it's out of control!

(Here again I tell you my personal feelings, actions and comments but you do what you think is right based upon your doctor, family and medical community etc. If I die today I am responsible for me. Be careful. Always talk to your doctor.)

Seriously, when I start to research the meds I'm taking (which aren't very many) I see three of the six can cause heart issues (and that's by themselves, no telling what happens when they're mixed together), several are very controversial even between doctors and those in the medical community-and I am supposed to figure this out. Go figure.

So Saturday I felt a lot better after getting through the night Friday night, after the big steak and potato dinner just a few days after quitting my meds. Though I still had issues with my head and my heart I was able to get up around, go out for lunch (salad). Sunday was even better taking my family out and sleeping both Saturday and Sunday night very well. Now it's just trying to get the Rytary Carb/Lev dosage down or discontinue the Rytary altogether.

Here we are on Monday morning and I feel good. Who knows, maybe I've overcome the worst of it, maybe not. I will continue to post anything helpful to the cause but I remain disappointed in the system although I have a great deal of gratitude to God who has got me these last 25 years and for the faith He reveals to me to carry on, largely for my family for whom I am also extremely grateful.

Lastly, please think twice before attempting something like I have. We are all different and the disease treats us all differently. I can promise you that at 2 o'clock in the morning Saturday morning I wished I had never stopped the pills ate the steak etc.

There you have it.