I try real hard to not cry
It is something I do a lot of
Sometimes it is healthy to cry
This however is utter sadness
I am a prisoner
My own prisoner
I put myself here
Me
I have to change
Change how I deal with this very
dysfunctional family

I have so many worries about so many things
And in the end I do know I can only do what my
heart wants to do what is right for everyone
But ME
ME
I am still alive
I haven't died yet
I breath the air we all breath
I live a life that is in a constant whirl
A tornado that has grown so large it is called
The monster
Just destroying everything in its path
Sucking the air out of everything
Leveled in the end
Calm and order to return
But never return to the way it was
I am hoping to bypass some stuff
I suffered on so many levels
Wondering many times in my life time
I there really a God
who knows all
Who takes care of all the things I cannot accomplish
That can only happen through Jesus Christ
It is a love that when touched by the Father
You just know
Ya just do
I want my Father to be pleased
Pleased I am watching over his children
children he chose me as their mother
Some are so lost
When will they see your light
When will they become responsible
So I can live a happy life as I am closest to the end
of a new life with my Father
Make me count here while on this earth
Allow us to come together
In Jesus name
Crying is my companion now
Sometimes it feels good
But the worries with the crying is the scary kind
My youngest is still in the hospital
With a kidney infection
Something she hasn't suffered with
In so many years
What happened to her
Why did she get so sick
No call from her or her father
I am beyond beyond
Me