Nick,

This is such a helpful post by Mark and I totally agree with it. I'm rarely on NT anymore, but I just want to second what he said. In many ways you have the choice to move forward. Life will pass you by if you don't.

I had what turned out to be a brutal vestibular concussion back in March of 2015. I'm 14 months out, but work full time, spend tons of great time with my family and kids, and plan to take a trip out to Colorado and even try to hike a 14er while out there in 4 weeks. Do I still have symptoms? I do. I really doubt my balance will ever be the same as it was before and I also have vision issues that seem like they will most likely be permanent. I still battle fatigue on an almost daily basis--and this isn't just your normal tiredness but something different. I need about 10 hours of sleep a night to feel really good.

Regardless, on days I don't feel all that great I push through and really try to enjoy how much this life has to offer! I want to see what has happened to me as a blessing, and not a curse, and that I'm better for it. I have moderated my life and don't worry nearly as much about the "little things" that used to bother me. I have taken up meditation, which has opened a whole new world of peace for me.

As Mark told me a lot last year, take this as an opportunity to totally retool your life. Maybe take up yoga and meditation. Find a new group of friends who don't lead the party lifestyle. Not sure if exercise bothers your symptoms (it makes mine better, actually) but you could start a progressive fitness regime. Use this as fuel to be in the best shape of your life, mentally and physically. I know I have. Sure, I really shouldn't ever race my bike again, but I still ride a ton. I was hurt in a cycling accident, but doing basically a race simulated type thing. I am now way more cautious, and I think that's a really good thing, too.

You also seem confused about why this thing has taken so long. So was I. But for some reason--the mechanism of my injury was what has made this recovery so long and not what I did subsequent to my injury. My concussion was one of those twisting, back of the head/brain type injuries that can be especially pernicious and hard to recover from. I also am prone to anxiety and depression. It was a concussion that hit my vestibular system super hard and that made the anxiety even worse. All a recipe for a prolonged recovery, and I understand that now.

Don't blame yourself. I was also in the camp that believed that concussions took a few weeks, maybe a month to recover from. It is incredibly frustrating but looking back and trying to make sense of it actually doesn't do any good and can increase anxiety and really make you feel even worse. Yeah, if I had known now what I knew then I would have done a lot of things differently. But that's not how life goes.

You can be even BETTER because of this. Think of the possibilities. Take good care and hang in there.