Fencer,
I wish I could put in words something the would help give you the "push" you need. The only thing I can think of is "been there". I can understand you wanting to explode.

Dealing with the 24/7 pain, I like you, found it difficult to even do things that I still could do. I finally realized I was not only bringing my self down; but was pulling my husband down who didn't deserve this.

Not saying that over night there was a big difference; but I started moving around a bit more; joking which can some times be contagious. He enjoys going to lunch; so I do try to push myself to go with him for an hour or two once a week.

Your grandchildren will remember times they spent with you long after they are grown. It appears you have really spend some quality time with them.

You really sound like you still have some "ump" left in you; just need the "push" to get yourself up and about.

Really do appreciate your coming here to give us updates; whether good or not so good. You are putting an effort in sharing.


Gerry