After a suspicious deduction
And denial for the "early retirement benefit"
I was not only misinformed
But never wanted to give up my job
Having been denied my last request for leave without pay
And someone in the same identical status as I am in
Disease of course not the same her disibility stroke
However because we worked side by side
she hired six months before myself went out on disibility six months after I did
Has the same time put in with the city
Seven years eleven months active
And dismissed without cause
as my status sadly has declined
Point
I was dismissed last year April
I was told I needed ten years of "active" service
How I found out about this was through my friend coworker
Now identical in time
How is it she is eligible
And I am not
I will be entitled to zero when I would be eligible for early retirement age sixty
Zero
I cannot fight this fight
To much time has passed
And I do not even know how to approach it to a lawyer
I am flat out not entitled
I was misinformed by the association administrator
Then not a very good time on the phone with Corissa
My chest is weighted
From the constant lump in my throat
I know
I have no control over many things
I cannot do a thing at this very moment but want to give up
But I know I cannot
I am needed
Just took afternoon meds hope for some quick relief
I cannot begin to tell you how my body is failing me
And I know that the stress I put on myself is all about me not being able to control it
An in the end having to turn it ALL over t Heavenly Father
That is true serenity
I need to let go and let God
I NEED TO LET GO AND LET GOD
so difficult when you see your babies in distress
or headed that way
And I understand they must go through their own V-8 moments
But to see them suffer
And then there is me
I do not have that someone to take care of me and the things I cannot do anymore or wear anymore or watch a movie anymore
or be in a long ride
I think I will stop here
I am hoping for a call
That all I can do
Love
Me
I have learned never to say
"Never say I can't get any worse"
Jeez
In Jesus I trust
In God I believe