Wonder if I could hold on for just a bit longer
as I am withering slowly and it s.u.c.k.s
So much energy is taken out of me in my day
Wonder how much longer it will be this hard
Wonder if we could get lucky enough to hit the numbers
and there be some financial relief
Wonder how it will be as time goes on
it is a small income I am working with
It is so difficult to not wonder how it got like this
How did it all get like this
Wonder if My desires will fade
People are not in my life
It to by choice
There is no true relationship
I can speak of that doesn't require approval from
And this I do not need
I look to Heavenly Father and ask for true sincere love in return
Not a hard thing for me to do
Yet for strangers to judge and pull one down for ones own selfish reasons not what I look for
Wonder if my father is the one who suffered with the mutation and it be the base host of all his problems
I still wonder about him
Just this weekend
Me and my sister were talking about the day
She tells me
Her then grammer school teacher she seen many years later
told her how she heard the shot early in the morning of April 8th
thinking it was her veteran father with his guns
Wonder how many others heard the shot
He was found in the second car
white station wagon
Around the corner from the house
What was he feeling
How sad must he have been
To endure sadness like mine
Makes me wonder