The last time I was in the hospital one of the psychologists told me that obsessions are common in bipolar disorder. At the time, I was convinced I had or would develop foot fungus because of showering in the hospital, so I kept smelling my feet (lol).

I do realize you worrying about Pudge's well being, and me worrying about foot fungus are two very different things, and Pudge's health is a lot more significant. But somehow when I realized worrying about my feet was an "obsession," I started to smell them less and worried less about developing fungus.

I understand that it is a lot harder for you to separate yourself from your worries because Pudge has been sick in the past, and you recently lost Abby, but maybe the need to see Pudge eat is actually the obsession? IDK. If her weight is stable and she is still active and playing, she is likely healthy. Maybe reminding yourself of that when you start worrying about seeing her eat could help?


I'm sorry that you are feeling so down right now. Could you reach out to Cecilia and let her know how disappointed you are that going off your meds didn't work out? She sounds so supportive. It would be a good reminder you're not alone


p.s. Please don't tell anyone else about my foot fetish. It's bizarre and embarrassing