This early morning
My child
My beautiful child
My granddaughters mother
The smartest on so many levels
But is a hard-core addict
Calls me to wish me mom a happy Father's Day
This is what they did since as young as they understood I was mom and filled in for a absent father all their lives
Appreciated I will confess is the only thing I look for
Happiness is all I wish for them with Heavenly Father in their hearts
I invite her to the pool only to find out she is already high
It be 6:30 in the morning and had gotten off of work
And
Got high
Something I picked up immediately
Broken hearted I am

On a more positive note
All my children have a fun day planned all together to "action park" worried ill be but they are together for the first time since Christmas
Heavenly Father bring them closer together with Your name on their tongue in their hearts and mind
Let them talk out addiction
All of them have had contact with one drug or another
My youngest getting clean for she needs to clean up for work
And the possibility of urine testing
Spoke with my eldest child about that
Asked her to honor it
I am saddened at the hold it has on her

My middle sister calls after a good few months
called as if nothing ever happened
Okay by me
If it be her way of contact
I have two younger sisters
One two years younger then myself
And my youngest sister is nine years younger

It was a lengthy conversation
To hear that her second husband a addict
So bad on dialysis and found to have four pints of vodka in his backpack
Already had a liver transplant
Was dropped from program as he could not sober up
He still breaths till he compleatly destroys his body
The hold is so strong just recently
His exwife who he has only one child
died of a massive heart attack
while in the hospital to insert stents as there were blockages
Her symptoms were shortness of breath
Point
The father my sisters husband is so deep in his addiction
I understand what the alcohol does
After your first three drinks
You begin to literally go numb
A quiet man when no altering chemicals are in his body
A clear indication social contact is difficult
And a few drinks thrown back help some come out of their shell
This is something I am familiar with and have it in my own family

For my beautiful child to need to get high
And not for the reasons I just described above
She a very outgoing person
When she was a baby I called how she would be a challenge
Was so friendly and innocent as a child
Scary
But true
So this is my start for the morning
Praying and hoping she does not continue to get high
It is not alcohol that comes in later
So sad
So sad
Yet I must pull all together
And we will be at the pool today
Even if just four a couple of hours
I know there are many who understand
the sadness and frustration

You wonder what would it take for them to go through to get it
My sisters husband does not live with her or my nephew
And his son has now no mother and a father wo isn't going to get clean and sober
He will be left alone no parents or siblings
How sad is that
Me