Hello almondface. I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. The Skeezyks just recently joined NeuroTalk. I'm very active on NeuroTalk's sister website: PsychCentral. Posting here on NeuroTalk can be a great way to lift a bit of the burden you are carrying. So please continue posting! I don't typically spend as much time here as I do on PC. But you're certainly welcome to personal message me if you want to. (Warning: The Skeezyks is an elderly goat.) I wish you well...