Dear Eva,

I know that you still carry a lot of guilt because you abused alcohol when your children were young, and because addiction runs in families because of learned behavior and genetics…

Both of my parents were alcoholics, but I want you to know that that was not a factor in my suicide attempt (although my father's behavior at the time was). I do not blame my parents' alcoholism at all for my suicide attempt. Some people are predisposed to be addicts, but ultimately we are responsible for our own behavior. In my case, the main reason I attempted s/s was because of mental illness. Please try your best not to blame yourself.

You are right: There is an overwhelming need for more and better mental healthcare, as well as treatment for addiction in this country. Unfortunately, individuals need to seek treatment themselves- whatever resources are out there, unless they are committed because they are a threat to themselves or others, or are arrested and required to undergo drug treatment.

It is a hard thing to learn how to love oneself. Certainly, not everyone gets there. We do the best we can, and hopefully reach out for help when we need it. If we can't do that, hopefully others will reach out to us, and we can accept the help that is offered.

Since your daughter's s/s attempt, you seem to be reliving your father's suicide and remembering his abuse, and your mother's denial. You must be going through an immensely difficult time because of that… I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. If you are currently seeing any mental health professionals I urge you to reach out to them now. Take advantage of any services that a social worker may offer or suggest to you.

I am so sorry that you had such a terrible experience with the hospital staff, and that the delay of information about your daughter's condition caused you more distress. You are right in that some people should not be nurses or working elsewhere in the medical profession. I came to the same conclusion working in hospitals myself.

I'm glad that you have the strength to be there for your daughter. She needs you now. You are a good mother, Eva. Just keep loving her, and that will help you both get through this.

I'll pray for the strength for you both to get through this