What is the lesson
Why do I have to wonder
What if this time they will succeed
Wonder what will it take if there is anymore to go through to "get it"
Wondering why I am totally **** on the moment things seem okay for my grandchild mother who is still in the hospital and talk fresh to me calling off the hook and picking up every call upset with me because of something her and her sister are going through
Wondering why is this happening again
Rather then concentrate in what just happened a couple of days ago
Wonder how much does she want to throw my way when she doesn't get her way
Wonder why she gives me grief when she can't see she made it the way it is
And only she can change it
Wondering why she can't see that
Why am I used as an enabler
Wonder why is she pushing me to
not wanting to pick up the phone because
I will be sad hearing her with the same excuses
She has been through soooooo much
Put herself through so much
Looking for love in the wrong places
I can never fill her void
Just be there
Wonder if my body is full of toxins
How much more can it take
I need to be here for her daughter
Wondering what it will be like for Eva in September and starting school
Wondering what that's going to be like all over again we go
Do I have it
We shall see
We shall see
Wondering isn't helping
And I cannot stop but to wonder
I can't even hear what on when in such deep thought
How much more Heavenly Father
I won't give up
Is that my test
To see if ill give up
I will not take my last breath into my hands
That is for my Father to decide
Wonder if I could leave a huge hugs
for anyone who needs one
right from the heart
Love
Me