Father
Brother
Mother Mary

Thank you for the blessings given in my day

Worried is not a way to live
And because I do
Is a clear observation I have not let it all go
Heavenly Father
Show me how to let to of my babies
The world a terrible place
One cannot go out and enjoy your blessings
Living in fear is not a way to live
This world is frightening
It has taken over
Is this what is hindering my progression
How do I stop worrying
Even when I was a child
I worried all the time

Heavenly Father
Like a child running out into the streets
Littered with cars
A mother jumps before them
I have so many of others pain I carry
It is part of my makeup
The world has shown us so much
We are t here forever
What will be left for my lineage
Why can't I let go
Why am I holding on to my pain
Is it all I know
To have someone hug me feels strange
It is done so few times

Heavenly Father I have raised my sister
We are close now
That only happened after she turned herself over to you
Bless her Heavenly Father
Her intent always good
She speaks Your name every single day I talk to her

Heavenly Father
My children lost
So utterly lost in this society
Did not expose them to what they are drawn to
Brilliant they are
Without You lost

Heavenly Father
I have my grandchild now
Why do I have such sorrow before her
She sees right through me
Without tears flowing
She asks
Mimma
Why are you so sad
Don't worry I'm here
Five she is
Had her since infancy
The road crumbling along the way
I am not the foundation
You are through me
I become strong
Let me be their rock
I am sorry for any sins I have perpetrated
I mean no harm
I cannot enable
And that means blocking my family from hurting me
My family hurting me
I cannot understand
My alcoholic day as brief as it was
Damaged my babies
Aware I am and
Aware they are
Always putting my children first
When it was You I needed to thank and praise
Not because of my mortality
I have always turned to You
It was given to me Heavenly Father
Your words in the book I would pick up at a young age
And You spoke to me
Psalms 6: 6-10
You spoke to me when I did not want to live
I was a child
Starving myself
Nobody could force me to eat or drink
You remember Heavenly Father
Remember me in my tiny room
Looking for answers why me
Why was I born into this family who did not want me or my sisters
For my father to kill himself
How does that affect me
This is the end product
Still hanging on
Still hoping they will see the light
You in their hearts
My boy angry
So angry at me
Accuses me of being a man hater
How little does he know about my choices
The times in which we live
Where are the people going through life against the truth of Your existence
I can only be a example

Heavenly Father
Brother
Holy Spirit
Enter my being
A witness of Christ Jesus
Who did for my sins and the sins of the world

I am not here forever
This is a temporary place
Let me truly let go
Help me not hurt so badly
Blocking my babies
Not giving in to their demands
But like a wise person said not to long ago
Wait for the answers to come to me
Another telling me don't worry about later
for later isn't here yet
Wait to see if you needed to worry for nothing
This is true
But every single day
It is something
Something that hasn't happened yet
is not to be worried about
For most times its nothing
God blessed me with that mother instinct
I was always paying attention
Worried someone would hurt my babies
And all along it was me
Enough for them to misjudge me
Not understand my choices
That my son would think I hate men

Heavenly Father
It is my sons behavior
I loath in a person
Leaning on others to fill their hearts with evil happiness
It is not okay to be in more than one relationship at a time
My babies never seen me involved with a significant other for I had fears they would be abused as I was
A father should never look at his girls like he did
He was a very sick man
Only you know what visions are still clear in my mind
And the times I have no memory of
Trying always throughout my life seeking help
May it be the church
A friend
Professional help so many failed times
Giving up my drinking
Bringing you back into my life
Is the best feeling in the world
To understand
That You are my instructor
My everything
Let my children find You

Heavenly Father
Let my grandchild not have memories of
me being sad
She loves me so much
Her hugs just amazing
When group hug happens
Eva pushes Corissa away
And says
I love mimma more
Fighting for my love and attention
My job to teach her
And we spoke
And then we talked about
Hate
When I asked her if she understood what the word means
She shakes her head
No
And when I did
I could see it sinking in
To remember
Our words that come out of our mouths are what matters
To stop and think before one speaks
At her level
She understood
She prays the Lord's Prayer
And Mother Mary

Heavenly Father
Bless my ways into the hearts of others
Let them see my love and faith and hope I hang on and don't give up as much as I want to at times but don't
Let them come to me so we can begin to understand one another
I am so misunderstood
I am living in fear
This is not healthy
Not for anybody
Rip it from me Heavenly Father
Come into my heart
My Savior
My everything
Hear my prayers
Bless us all
In Jesus I trust
In God I believe
In the Holy Ghost I live
I rebuke all evil that tries to take my mind
Amen