Thank you Mari

Bizi

I'm glad that you realize that you're drinking is out of control, and recognize that's a red flag that you're hypo
I know your pdoc isn't easily approachable, but I think you're having a significant episode, and it's time to reach out now before things get worse

I'm glad that you're not D/D. That's something that's really hard to do when you are having trouble with impulse control

It's not the time to worry about dieting, and don't judge yourself too harshly for your drinking too much as long as you are still keeping yourself safe…
Once you reach out to your pdoc for intervention, and get treatment to shut down this episode, you'll have much better impulse control

I binged during manic/hypomanic episodes like you are doing now, and it took me a long time before I made the connection. I beat myself up, too. Now that you've made the connection, let meds work for you. If I wasn't on the meds I'm on now, I have no doubt I'd still be constantly cycling and binging.

I can understand the fear of changing meds
But most pdocs will suggest the meds you've tried before and have worked for you in the past (zyprexa?), or increase the dose of a med you are already taking.
You should ask your pdoc about the most common side effects of new meds before you agree to take a one and walk out of her office with that script. You always have the right to refuse to take a med, and ask for an alternative.

I'm glad that you spent last night AF and were able to sleep
Let us know how trivia night goes.