Mari, He drinks so much that he usually passes out early and sleeps like a rock. But it's not good quality sleep because his body isn't resetting itself for the following day because it's too busy breaking down the alcohol.

Saturday wasn't the first time we'd had a "discussion" about the money issue, so he already knew my feelings about it before he started making digs.

His position further upsets me because it shows me that he doesn't regard me as a partner in our relationship. It makes me feel like he sees me as only someone to cook and clean for him, do his laundry, and get him a million beers "while (I'm) up." He's actually said "get me a beer while you're up" in his sleep because he says it so often. He thinks that's funny.

When he woke up yesterday, I made no attempt to conceal the fact that I was upset, and he knew why, but didn't acknowledge it. He remarked later that I was "giving (him) attitude," and I don't know when to let things go. So I told him how I felt, and I got little response aside from the fact I don't take his feelings into account (WTF is that supposed to mean?), and that I was "lucky to have access" to his money… very unapologetic.

I used to have my social security check deposited into our joint account before we were separated. It makes sense to do it now, but he resists. He won't tell me why, but I think it's because he wants to maintain the separation of funds so he can use the money issue against me when it suits him.


So this, and his drinking, aren't helpful to me considering I'm not at my best right now. I am doing better since switching to taking the extra dose of seroquel in the am, but I'm still off. I'm not feeling the same degree of that high energy that I was mistaking as a flare up of all my anxiety disorders anymore, but I'm still agitated/irritable, dealing with anxiety, and am sleeping less now. Maybe I'm transitioning from a mixed mood into depression? Or it could just be situational. IDK. It's been a very long time since I've gone through an episode of depression.
I see my pdoc on Wednesday and will let her sort it out. Given my history, depression would have to be clear and severe before my pdoc would consider prescribing an antidepressant, or I would consent to taking one. Maybe she'll move some meds around. IDK.