I'm so sorry Mari. That sounds terrible, and it's too bad that it interrupted your sleep too, because you need it

If the nausea WOKE YOU UP and were in that much pain, obviously taking it with food would NOT fix the problem. I don't blame you for refusing to take it anymore.

You must be so discouraged after having bad experiences with two meds in a short period of time. It's a good idea to let your pdoc know what happened, but it's perfectly reasonable if you decide to give yourself time before you try another med. The dosing alone has been stressful for you

I wish that the risperdal had worked out for you

When you're ready, you can try something else…
But your pdoc is going to have to give more consideration to your drug sensitivities- not just prescribing low doses, but choosing meds with less severe side effects that fall into the "common" column. I know that is hard, but she sounds competent, and therefore probably capable of creativity.

I hope you feel better