Bizi, I reckon that NurseNancy is totally right, especially about being gentle with yourself and taking little steps.

This is not about me but in the early days of dealing with my alcohol abuse I would quite often slip up and beat myself up because of that.

My clinical psychologist offered me wise thoughts about this; "Please don't be so tough on yourself. Remember that it is just a lapse, not a relapse. Keep going, you are doing well.".

I found that empowering and hope that you will as well.