It's really important for me to have all my plans laid out in advance for things, too. Otherwise I get fixated, and my anxiety gets really high.
Since this is such a significant event, I can see how getting your all your plans in place would really ease some of your anxiety right now

I hope you will ask Alice, and then forgive yourself

When you are feeling better after the surgery, you can send her a heartfelt note along with some flowers to express your appreciation.