There was an article this past Sunday in my local paper about a woman living with CRPS, she said that everything she did during the day was weighed in a cost to benefit analysis. Nothing is simple or easy anymore, is it?

It's nearly impossible for anyone who has never lived with chronic pain and/or exhaustion to understand the box we live in.

For me Aqua PT is starting to transform me, albeit slowly and with mind blowing levels of exhaustion, but at least I am improving. I got my automatic arm swing back this week. Doesn't sound like much, but for me, it is major, because it means my brain is responding to the PT input.

When I started PT back in May I cried every day from my pain, my lack of stamina, my lack of coordination and my fear. I could barely drag myself out of the pool after the session, never mind showering, changing my clothes and walking to my ride. I had to sit and rest between each "task," until I was rested enough to go on.

There is a water aerobics class right after my PT session, but I do not have enough stamina to participate, because I am too drained after 1 hour in the pool. The AC changing room is too cold for me, so I have to use the sauna to undress in. I have to ask someone to turn the heat on in the sauna for me so that it is warm by the time I get out of the pool. If it's not ready I wait in a heated jacuzzi. At first I could not use an upper locker, because it was too taxing to reach up, but I could fall over bending to use a lower one.

On every ride home I passed stores I could not go in, due to exhaustion. Many times my husband left me in the car, while he shopped for me.

Today I progressed to using arm weights in the water. I drove myself to PT, but I was so tired afterwards I found it difficult to back my car out of its space. It took 5 attempts. I could only manage to stop at one store and when I got home I could not make my own lunch. BUT, as bad as all this sounds I know it is a vast improvement from the past. I just have to accept that my recovery is going to be slow and be happy for every tiny incremental change.

Forgive me for going on and on about me, my thought process is that my journey might give you realistic hope. I hope and pray for your recovery.