Doydie!!! I'm sorry about the crash. I hope you got some sleep and feel more rested today. Maybe having someone come in to help, despite the mattress issue, is a good idea. Even if it is only for a couple of hours a day or twice a week or something. It will give you a much needed break.

A good caregiver/aide should never judge. Remember all the situations that you encountered while nursing? You never personally judged those situations. You assessed, but didn't judge. (If that makes sense.) Plus, an aide may be able to get Charlie to do more self care than you can get him to do. Having help like that will give you a chance to rest, run errands, and take mental breaks whether that be visiting friends, sitting in a quiet church, etc. Maybe even going to choir practice. (I'm not sure if you are still doing that as I haven't seen you post about it.) It can be a good thing for both you and Charlie.

Anyhow, try to do something nice for yourself today. Prayers have been said for you!