I have thought about hiring some one to come in and clean. That would help a lot. I would really love a personal chef. I am not a cook, never have been. I can do hamburger helper really good. Charlie does OK in his own personal care. He can't shower yet and he has his appointment with the surgeon. So he took a god sponge bath. I washed his back and he did the rest. I do enjoy doing little things like that for him. Every night I empty his drain. I know he could probably do it himself but that nurse in me likes to do it so I can see how much, the type of drainage, etc. I do hope it comes out tomorrow, both physically and emotionally. I don't know how he will take it if the doctor says no.

We were out of just a few items today and needed a short Walmart run. Umm, what is short about a Walmart run even when it's 6 PM and heat is 95. It was so hot, I was short of breath by the time I got to the door. I did ride the scooter. I don't know how many little mistakes I did while driving the car. After telling Charlie how exhausted I was and yes, it is dangerous for me to drive, he did stop making comments.

Our Walmart is one of them that you can order on line and pick them up so I may need to look that up until I am over this. When he went on his medicine for his Ulcerative colitis, I made the decision to go off my Avonex. I think I am ready to rethink that now.

About choir. I am still a member, It's just with him in the hospital so much I haven't been there for awhile. This weekend is our 60th anniversary of the church. The choir is singing this big anthem. I really don't like the melody but it has parts for the children's choir, youth choir and the adult choir and then for us all together. It also has a nice solo which our pastor will sing. It's called 'We are the church'. We also have another song to sing which I really like. But I don't think I have been there for 3 weeks. I told Charlie the way I feel, IF I do go on Sunday, I would more than likely sit in the sanctuary and not even stand to sing any of the songs. No energy. I may not even sing. I am that tired. So it all gets me thinking. Could part of this be depression? I really think it is a combination of many things. I ate one meal today. And that is bad for me. I have about 2+ edema again so I am taking Lasix, which is on as needed basis. I tried to take a nap but nap and Lasix just don't get along. The edema may be one reason why my legs feel so heavy.