RSD ME

I am glad that you shared this with us. I do understand how draining and discouraging the constant pain can be. I too strugle with it. Someone told me I should let go of the old me, what I used to be able to do. I have been thinking about that today. I did several tiny things today, and it did encourage me to see that there were still things I could do. I have been having so much back pain now, on top of the RSD in my foot, and as much as I do not like it, I am seeing that laying flat on my back is something I am going to have to do more, as it does give me relief.

My husband brings me books from the library and it is good to get lost in a good book, it is an escape for me. I have my own room, and that too helps. For too long we did not do some of the things that would make living easier for me. I have to focus on me and find new ways to make my life better for me, tiny little things can make a difference, a shift in a positive direction.

It concerns me that the lower I go in the depression, the lower I go, as the bottom keeps getting lower. Did that make sense? I know that at times I can catch it before I go so low, and at other times I am caught off guard and like getting the rug pulled out from under you, I just crash. A scary place to be. Maybe it will help to check in with me through out the day. I know some mornings I wake up with the stinkin thinkin, and that can be tough to shake. I get angry at times that I have to have these health problems, and all the limitations that go with it, the anger only makes things worse for me.

I know I have to find things that I can still do that make me happy. Not always easy to think of things that make me happy when I am in a negative mood. I think I will start a list, and put it where I can see it. I do know it helps me when I focus on solutions.

There is power in NOW.

The gold fish in the pond were calming to watch. So were the butterflys and humming birds. The weather had cooled down, it was good to be able to be outside and sit on the porch and just be in the garden today. My back hurt too much to do anything but sit. I could choose to be grateful to the old me for creating all this beauty that I can enjoy now while I sit on the porch. Gratitude does help to change my attitude to positive.

I am grateful to all of you on this journey with me. May we all find some joy in our journey today.

Sending you soft hugs RSD ME, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
peace
zinnia