Hi RSDme,
I am late to the conversation. I have not been on much lately and just saw this thread.
I am sorry you are having to deal with hurtful and insensitive criticism. We all know that you are doing the best you can. It is very frustrating when our abilities and others (and our own) expectations for what we can or "should be able" to do don't coincide. That can already feel bad without anyone else giving us a hard time about it.
I never understand the comments about looking fine either.

You never know what another person is experiencing.
Be easy on yourself and give yourself credit for the many things you do getting through every day. Don't forget that you have support here and are valued. The others have given much wise advice. For my part I am sending many hugs and much healing love,