oh pam, i'm sorry you're going thru all this.
do you live in the states?
i'm sure i don't need to tell you that any one of these hernias can be life threatening. i don't want to scare you but you seem to already know this. if any part of your gut gets sufficiently twisted it can cut off the blood supply. then that part of the gut needs to be removed. plus, you can get septic. you're having so many symptoms that i would gently urge you to call your pcp &/or get to the ER.
you are your own best advocate. it sounds like you're very knowledgeable and around here we say that knowledge is power. don't let your family take your power from you. hold onto it.
please let us know how you are.