I have a large tear to the abdominal wall on the right side of the incision, it's about 23mm, the cause unknown, but significant in size to show up and be of concern. Apparently if I stop vomiting and get my gut under control it will heal itself. The pinkish tinge accompanying the vomit is burst blood vessel, this too will heal.

The incisional hernias on the left side of the incision 54mm from umbilical and the 58mm 18mm x 10mm and 13mm x 12 mm respectively filled with proprietary fat and we all agreed a watch & see approach be taken given the vast amount of stomach surgery I have had. At some stage he believes I will need to elect to get mesh insertion because of the 5 things you need to do to control / mitigate hernia strangulation risk 3 are beyond my control. But I have so much going on he believes this can sit and wait until I reach (if ever) a point of no return. He says my awareness and ability to manage the regular obstructions I suffer with shows I have enough sense to know when elective is inevitable. But hey, good it's just fat at this stage.

If I can't get the current obstruction under control by 8 tonight I have to go to hospital for the usual nasal gastric tube, pain relief, bed rest and flush etc etc. I will, I can already tell I'm getting the better of it and my temp has gone back down to 37.8.

Need to see a cardiologist for the AV block as well. Feel a lot happier in myself knowing no immediate surgery on the cards, still in pain, but hey, no imminent hospital surgery. Feeling so relieved. Thanks folks for your care and support, you are all amazing.

As to my mother, I wrote and told her to have a long look at herself in the mirror the next time she wants to lecture me while I'm in hospital on how I should derive pleasure to tend her immediately (discharge myself from hospital) I suggested she ponder her narcissisism and instead envision that convo with my siblings, yeah good luck with that! Suggested she stay away from me for a week at least until I can get my health and emotions in better shape. She has texted me with a thumbs up everyday, sometimes twice since. I'm not responding, her bad, not mine. Love my mum, but need a break. In more ways than one!

Why do some of us seem to attract & have such demanding people in our lives, is it because we are super busy just struggling to get by & live that we didn't recognise the moment they seized the upper hand? or was it we were but just too unwell to do anything about it, for me, I suspect the latter. She has waged war on me since I was a child after my first heart arrest at 6yrs, gone for 2 minutes. Who sends the 12 yr old sister (daughter) the golden child to sit at the bedside all night until 10 pm while she slumbers the night away. 50 years on, I still remember every moment, coming round eventually rousing to ask for mum! Oh she's at home, it's Friday night and all that, drinks with the Millers. She'll be up tomorrow. Remember dad bought me my first bike on discharge now I know why, she must've felt guilty. Sorry to rant again, yes still a lot of unresolved pain & anger.