gerri, actually my husband is a nice guy quite a bit. He loves his family, just was never taught by his own family how to show it. From the way he talks about his family it was every person for themselves, must be extremely equal portions at equal times, etc. His way of showing love for our girls is to provide financially even though I have told him that it is enabling.

I am concerned about going cold turkey on this Tenormin. From what I am reading and it is old internet stuff, it can cause a lot of anxiety and even heart attack, must be tapered off. I know the way I am feeling now there is no way I will be bale to sleep laying down. We went out and bought one of those nice lounge pillows that a lot of people use to read in bed. I had been doing something like that to ease my breathing and heart down anyway but then once my my breathing was settled would take my pillow from against headboard and lay it flat. So now I may have to sleep against this thing. I have been off of it now since yesterday at lunch and my heart rate is still only 46. But it is just pounding away so hard. Not comfortable at all. And worst of all I will have to miss my choir practice tomorrow night when we get to listen to our Christmas cantata. If I feel safe enough to drive I may go late just to sit with the choir and listen.

I feel a call to the Heart Group office is in my future.