I had a very difficult summer, working almost every day-sometimes long days-on my dad's estate, consolidating his and my stuff together into my condo. I am far from done going through all of his stuff, but at least I did manage to get moved into my own condo, fixed up a few things, and got rid tons of stuff. Most of the work I was doing is gone; the guy I was working for lost the contract. I do have a short term contract of my own and am trying to focus on doing a good job of that.

In a way I am kind of relieved; I don't think I am really in any shape to work full time or to drive 2-1/2 hours (each way) to work on a reservation, even two days a week, like I did for four years before the accident. I used to have so much energy it made people tired just to hear what I did in a given period of time. Now I have headaches, light and noise sensitivity, and I get very tired, even after a short day. I sometimes feel like I could just go to bed at 5:30 or 6:00 in the evening because I am so tired, but I am not actually sleeping all that well. It's hard to imagine how I could be working full time at this point. But I need to work.

From what I've read recently, I wonder if I was really doing too much this summer. Maybe I should have been resting and not trying desperately to get this move accomplished this summer, in ten weeks. But now it is back to school time, I should be working full time, but I am working part time and don't think I could be doing any more. It's hard to even think about what I would have to do to get more work.

I had dinner with a friend and her family; they are in town for the week. I was talking to my friend's partner about how I think I have too much fatigue and headache to work full time. My friend's dad jumped in and more or less told me that I was malingering because it had been three months and I must not want to work because I was making too many excuses. He pointed out that my dad always worked hard and I should follow his example. I pointed out that my dad was to tired to do much of anything after he had Parkinson's, and my friend's dad told me that was different because he was retired before he was so tired. He was basically telling me that there was no good reason to be tired three months after a concussion - like I must have suddenly developed severe laziness.