Thank you for the kind words Mari. This struggle is the hardest thing I'll go through. I really, really want to give up and quit work and feel sorry for myself but I know that will make things worse.

I went to my primary care doctor and told him what happened. When I told him I wouldn't care if I woke up dead tomorrow (even thought I made no mention of suicide nor do I have any intention of doing so), that was too much for him and he sent me to the psyc ward in an ambulance. Fortunately I was released the same day but I am still slightly jaded from that experience. Other than headache I have no physical symptoms so I don't know what a trip to the ER would do other than tell me what I already know.

I agree, anti-depressant meds will be the next move. I called up psychiatrists in the area to set up an appointment but no one responded. Even that act was exhausting and it will be tough to make another round of phone calls to schedule an appointment. This is unbelievably stressful... I feel like a helpless idiot. Sorry for coming on too strong and sounding immature.

Thanks