Farewell to Coach Stanley
By Mike Hixenbaugh

Record-Courier staff writer

WINDHAM -- During the last three decades, some of Jeff Stanley's favorite memories were recorded on the floor of the Windham High School gymnasium.

Consider his part in a championship run as a teenage basketball standout in the late 1970s along with the thousands of hours he dedicated to coaching the youth of his community, and you'll understand why.

For those same reasons, it was fitting that Mr. Stanley said his final farewell from the center of Windham's Marty Hill Court.

Mr. Stanley, 49, died Thursday after a 14-month fight against Lou Gehrig's Disease.

Monday, more than 300 family, friends and community members packed the gymnasium to say goodbye. Very few of them left without shedding tears.

"It's obvious from yesterday and today that I am just one of thousands of Jeff's friends," Marty Sterpka said during the service Monday.

Sterpka, who considers himself a lifelong friend of Mr. Stanley, encouraged his four children.

"To you kids, hold your heads high and walk proudly because you are Jeff's children," he said. "And when you reach milestones, like graduations and weddings, know your dad is beside you, beaming with joy."

Sterpka tried to explain how lucky he considers himself just to know a man like Mr. Stanley -- a man who volunteered countless hours coaching; a man who willingly sacrificed his own comfort to serve his community; and a man who did everything in his power to share his love for life.

Mr. Stanley's wife of 24 years, Louie Stanley, also stepped forward to share a few words. Shaken by tears, Louie read two letters of thanks from a couple of Mr. Stanley's former athletes.

"Having an impact on kids meant so much to Jeff, so I know he would have wanted me to read these," she said.

The letters were littered with praise for a man who was admired and respected by hundreds in the community.

A few more members of the Stanley family stepped forward to share kind words and stories. Inspired by his father's advice to live with no regrets, Kyle Stanley stood to speak after previously planning to remain silent.

Kyle, the Stanley's youngest son, was overseas serving in the military when he heard about his father's diagnosis last May.

"I told him I would come home if he wanted me to, whatever he wanted," Kyle said. "But he told me, 'I just want you to be a good soldier.' So I told him, the whole time me crying like a little girl, that I would do that as long as he did the same for me. I told him, 'you be my soldier, dad.'"

For more than a year, Kyle called whenever he could to see how his father was progressing. The disease moved faster than expected, according to doctors, eventually leaving Mr. Stanley physically disabled and unable to speak. Still, Kyle continued to call hoping for good news. Each time, at the end of the conversation he'd ask his father, "how are you doing, are you still being my soldier dad?"

"And until the time when he wasn't able to talk, he would say, 'yes,'" Kyle said. "And when it reached the point when mom had to hold the phone to his head, I'd ask him ... and he'd grunt or give me some indication that he was fighting.

"That was our way of saying we loved each other."

Occasionally pausing to choke back streaming tears, Kyle offered a final message to his father.

"Dad, I just want to tell you that you're still my soldier and I love you. You put up a good fight."

Turning to the audience, Kyle continued, "And he did. He fought for all of you. He always said, 'work hard, play harder and love unconditionally.' That's how he lived and I wanted to tell you that because I don't ever want to regret not coming up here and sharing my peace about my father, my hero, and my soldier."

Following the service, Mr. Stanley was buried at Windham Township Cemetery where hundreds of family and friends said goodbye to a man known best by those who loved him, simply as, "Coach."