Hello Ravenclaw: I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know as there is really much I can say about it. I'm an older person. And, over the years, many people have passed on... either they've died or they've permanently moved on out of my life. It happens to us all as we age...

There is, of course, kind-of a "standard grieving process" that one can read about. You're probably familiar with it. But in reality, I presume, each of us grieves in our own way. I know, in my own case, the feelings I once had for people who have passed on have "softened" (for lack of a better word.) I think it's simply nature's way of helping us to move on... which we all must sooner or later.

So, from my perspective, I would not take what you are experiencing to be a sign that you didn't love this man. I believe what you are experiencing is simply the healing process in action. Whatever you do or don't feel is okay. However, should you find yourself continuing to struggle with your feelings about all of this, then consider seeking the services of a grief counselor or therapist with whom you can process how you feel. I wish you well...