Thanks for the kind replies. Will reply in a bit more detail shortly. . Lots of food for thought.

Edit:

Kiwi ... you may have an excellent point. I don't even like the word "forgiving", it's a bit too dramatic for me. Acceptance is a much better concept, and it's exactly what is needed, both for other's as well as my own actions. We don't live in a perfect world, we are not living a perfect life.

Pamela: yup, and that "irony" is exactly what I'm talking about too. You totally understood the concept I was trying to describe. Mind you: I didn't care so much for my own situation (and I really mean this). Kids can be resilient, I went on to support my mom who was in a state of shock for several years, went on to college to get a degree, got into music, bands, started my own company, got married, no complaints or horror stories there. I think what got to me most was that there was no way anybody could ever make up to my mother. It was final, it was brutal. Again, not all was dramatic, she was a very strong woman, so after those first years she bounced back, and even though she never wanted another partner, she did create a new life for herself until she died in 1999. But some mistakes - as human as they are - could not be mended, and I think that's what I struggled with most. As was the fact that some siblings treated her like *****. But maybe I should just accept it as it was, leave it in the past, and do my best to continue to stay away from the same mistakes.

Icehouse, always welcome. Belgium is a great place to visit. Normally, my fellow countrymen would say "especially for the beers" but, um, well, you know.

29 and 39 ... that is so young, damn. My condolences.