To say that yesterday was the "worst day in a vary long time" is saying it was pretty ****ing horrible… I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry you have to go through all that you do in general

I share your concern about pdocs revealing things about their private lives. I don't think it's professional, and it's gotten out of hand and shifted the focus away from my needs as a patient in the past. I also HATE it when people try to make comparisons that are in no way related to what I'm going through (it happens a lot re:MS), and then try to give me advice based on that crap. So, combining the two scenarios would make me a pretty unhappy camper, too

Lots of pdocs are big on cutting back on benzo's, but I don't see the rationale of her even thinking about bringing the issue up right now since you aren't at the place where you need to be on other meds, and you are still struggling with sleep issues she's supposed to be treating.

I'm glad that you were able to talk to your sister. You know what you need better than anyone else. If I remember correctly, you had a fairly recent insurance change, so you have more pdoc options out there when you're ready for a switch.

What will you be taking for meds in the meantime?

I hope you got some sleep, and today is a much better day for you today, Mari