These 44 years have not been wedded bliss. When my girls were young, one time they asked me why I never divorced him. He is what he says a perfectionist, but what that means he wants us to do things perfectly and if we don't, he is very angry. But he doesn't do any thing perfect and always gives a reason why he isn't doing it right. The girls were in the typical things kids are in like softball, music. Now he was the pitcher for many years on his baseball years. he is a wonderful singer. So when he would go to their games, he hated it and would get mad when they lost a chance to do something right. Music, he would go to one concert and they didn't sound professional and wouldn't want to go back. Well of course they are professional. They are teen age kids. But you have to audition form all 12 schools in the area to get a part. He has the mouth of a sailor and has a lot of road rage.

When he became a Grandpa he became more gentle. He eventually learned to see what other Dads were doing with their kids and he didn't do with his. So he started doing a lot fo things to make up for those lost years. Now most of it involved money and what they would have enjoyed was physical time and hugs and kisses.

After he retired he then became even more mellow and thinking of others. then came the heart attack, then the very humbling ulcerative colitis and ileostomy. You lose dignity and you have to redefine yourself.

So through all of this he has become a different person than who he was many years ago. I loved him for the dignity he treated his Mother, the fact that even though I had MS, he said in his wedding vows that he would love me through sickness and health, good time and bad times.

Now he has Parkinson's, an ileostomy, has to resort to others doing things for him and knowing he has to treat those who do something for him have to be treated with respect.

So these 44 years have been a process, sometimes easy, sometimes hard and a lot of tears. Now he is learning how to give me what I call a Peterson hug. That's my family name and the big loving hug we give whether it is needed or now. He frequently gives it. And some say you can't teach an old dog new tricks!

So that's my story of 44 years of marriage. I have taught our daughters that in this world of easy divorce, you have commitment, you work for what you want, good times, bad times but it's what you find at the end is what important.