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Old 09-03-2016, 08:49 AM  
St George 2013
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 905
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Default Dear Ravenclaw

Not sure if you remember me but I lost my husband "Bubba" a year ago on August 30th, 2015.

On the 9th month of his passing which happened to be on my birthday,
May 30th, I was on a family vacation in Florida. I had such mixed feelings knowing he should be there with me/us and it was our first vacation without him. I was surrounded by family but felt so alone and lonely.

I agree with everything Skeezyks said. Thank you Skeezyks for that posting. It helped me too.

He was your soulmate and you loved him deeply and completely. Such a wonderful thing y'all had together.

On the first anniversary of Bubba's passing I thought I would really have a hard time. But the meltdown came days before that as I kept replaying all the horror of him in ICU and then in Hospice for 2 days.
On the actual day I felt calm knowing he was no longer in pain and could breath God's fresh air all around him. He did not want to live with a disability and had told me numerous times he didn't want to live to be an old man. He got his wish and I have to respect that.

It's us, the ones left behind that suffer so much. What you are feeling is right for you. Everyone is different but I know he's still with you and always will be.

I think our feelings change as time marches on. I don't think it will ever mean you love him less.

I can still feel my husband's presence at times. Like he's right here with me. And maybe he is.

I'm so sorry you are going through this and wish there was something 'magic' I could say to help you.

I do hope you are taking care of yourself physically...that is so important.

Please keep us posted on your thoughts.

Debi from Georgia
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