Having a structured way of life from a very young age
I am just beside myself and wonder if I'm the cause if such utter disregard how far I will go just for them
But remember I am asked

Having gone through a tough time with my youngest child
And it has been and continues to be a headache

The phone a obsession
I not the only parent struggling with this
Does it mean I have to put up with it
No
Having to take her out of school twice
High school
Having a difficult time acclimating in her new school
Being called by trouble
From children, students and inept persons
Some weren't even in school but scout the lonly
To get them hooked on drugs
If she were to go down that same road again
I would have pulled her out again
She was and pulled me into a very bad place for years
It was terrible
And still at the end if the day
Back in April when she took flight to her fathers home
Could not wait to come home
And all the things she misses
A clean tidy home
Not much to keep up with
And because I do not bleed to show my pain
It isn't understood
And because she lets things go for
and it go on a long time
I just can't stand it any more
Garbage it stinks up the house
There isn't anything much I the way if helping where I cannot do anymore like the laundry washing the pots and pans as the hands turn black and blue
The fact that she gets up
puts a slabs cream cheese on a slice of potato bread remind her a half cup if applesauce please
While I do all the physical
Sorry Eva goes to school polished
I believe a she should take pride in how she presents-themselves in certain settings
Wherever I was required to wear a uniform
I always took pride to look my best we were one unit dressed alike that
I remember sewing my name on my jumpsuit uniform
We needed to see our names on it
Because I was taught from a European woman who's culture worked with needles of all kinds
And of course it was right up my alley
Loved it
Did it in script
And how
Taking pride in oneself

It has been about six close to seven years when so many things went south
My family hitting me the hardest
On many levels
I had my own crap I was going through
Mine never stops just one acting as a conduit for the other situation

Yet mommy sat outside while she had her first interview
her first job
Then we shopped for her uniform for work
Yea I did that
This crazy mom

I have come to a place where my youngest took advantage
Before coming back
Her father had a job set up fo her and she manipulated her way out of that one
Was to frightened
Used Eva as her excuse
Then me
Having come HOME
Being on that pink cloud that her and Eva were riding
and now she sees how fresh she can be with her mouth
Only for her to now
always have that fear if my Tittie doesn't behave she has things taken away
Only we are talking a large general gap here
Persons think Eva is her daughter
And she will go with it at times
Not a good thing and not to be done again

So I finally guilt her into doing or rather picking one of the three important issues GED, work, driver licenses and calling doctors she needs to see
Says
"Mom can you come with me and wait outside when I go I for my interview"
Like I said
"Sure ill come and support you and she got her first job on her very first interview"
While in there I had a gut feeling it was here
We then spent the next four hours going to three different stores for all the things she needed for work
I know repeated myself
All throughout the time together she was on the phone there wasn't a time it was put down until I asked her
"I'm in pain can you ease find your size"
It was terrible
To come home to the stench because she didn't take the garbage out
Really
Really
And I have all the hard work to do with Eva
Make sure the teeth brushed, washed hair combed
Her uniform clean
Her homework ready
Her breakfast eaten
Her vitamin
Her five kisses in her pocket
Her
"Who's gonna have a great day?"
Because no one, no one will spoil it!!!!
Every single day
And it is tough
My meds are just going into my body at that time
It is a rainy day today
Killing me
My other children nowhere helping out
I mean with Eva
No body
Corissa took on the protective roll
It's more than she thought
A mother she isn't and it never was the intent
Yet where is Eva's mom
She has become so complacent about the situation
I have no objection to her coming and getting her ready from beginning to end
Just to get her off to school
Oh I would as Corissa would I'm sure welcome mommy to do the mommy things for her child
Right now it's me

The MONSTERS I created
Should she have gone into strangers arms
I am her grandmother and am doing this for Eva
My child Corissa is behaving in a way like Eva's mother was fresh with her mouth
Not allowed

It's always something
Yea
This stupid mom sat out in the car
Just for her
I zero appreciation
Me