Thanks so much for each of you taking the time out of your lives to respond to me. I promise you that I will "play it forward" and share the knowledge that I am sure to gain along the way with others. However, right now I'm in a pretty bad state of mind. On Wednesday I went to the pain clinic I was referred to. I mentioned to the nurse prior to submitting my urine sample, that I'd fail the urine test. She asked why. When I replied, she said I'd receive a 'warning', and would need to have clean tests from then on. However, after providing the sample, she returned to the examination room only to state that the doctor wouldn’t see me. I was told that I needed to taper off the Xanax that I was prescribed by my physician, as well as have an otherwise clean test (which could be obtained in about four weeks...), in order to be seen. I was told that the doctor was actually doing me a favor, since if he wrote the results of meeting with me in the chart, he’d not be able to continue to see me. So, I have an appointment in 5 weeks, and must wait that long for the relief I hope he can provide. I certainly understand his reasoning regarding part of the reason I failed the test; however, I was prescribed Xanax for a reason…anxiety. Right now, I have more anxiety than perhaps I’ve ever had, and I cannot seek prescription relief to the extent my doctor prescribed. Today my wife drove me three hours each way to a rheumatologist, since I cannot currently drive due to knee pain. We got that appointment with a prominent doctor through a family connection since my local rheumatologist couldn’t see me until mid-November. He was fabulous and extremely thorough, spending about an hour with my wife and me. His conclusion was that I absolutely did not have any arthritic condition as the cause of my symptoms. He then asked us what we thought was happening to me. I said RSD/CRPS, as so many of my symptoms matched so closely to everything I’ve read about it. He looked quite serious as he said he thinks we’re “spot on”. He then discussed other RSD patients he’s seen in the past. He believes the post vasectomy pain could also be related to what I’m currently experiencing. If true, then I’ve had this for about five years, and the 9 months I was pain free post-orchiectomy was a remission of sorts. If so, then my age, and the length of time I’ve had this both work against me. Tomorrow I have an appointment with a neurologist, which is the specialist that I put the most stock in. My knee is extremely painful right now, after the exam, and after being in the car for six hours. Today was the day where this has seemed the most real to me, as I ponder my future – one where many of the things I was able to do seem as if they’re slipping away. I can’t drive myself, I can’t play with my ten year old daughter as I’d like, I can't keep up the yard, I can barely focus enough to work (even though my job does not require physical exertion, it demands tremendous mental clarity and the ability to speak clearly to groups about complex material), I need crutches to walk, and am in continual pain. I fear increased social isolation. Basically, I’m a bit of a mess tonight. I realize this comes in waves and this too will pass, but right now it’s not good. I’ll post an update after the appointment tomorrow.