My view from the desk was obstructed, and unfortunately my husband never took the fan out. It's still in the corner in the kitchen.

I complained about my legs hurting and acting up because all of the activity lately (shampooing carpet, grocery shopping, running a lot of errands and doing laundry yesterday), and my husband said it wasn't like I "had worked all day and driven 200 miles." He's saying things like this a lot lately. I don't work because I can't, and told him that. I told him I know he's suffering lately, and I do my best to help him, but in my experience I've learned that all I can do for him is listen. I have been there to do that for him, but he forgets that I have problems too, even though they are different, and I don't burden him with them. I try like hell not to ask him for help.

I felt like the conversation was unfinished… like I had a million more things to say, but I didn't want to get into a fight. His view of reality is so slanted, that it's almost pointless to bother anyway.


I saw my pdoc yesterday and she increased my lithium from 300mg once a day to twice a day. My level was very low when it was drawn last time, so I'm not worried about toxicity. I have some worries about acne, but I'm mainly concerned that the increase will effect my vision. She talked about possibly increasing it to 900mg if I need it. It's only half of my old dose, but I don't know if I would go that high because of the increased risk of s/e.

We talked about my anxiety, and I told her I was still using higher doses of the klonopin, which is okay with her since I need it. I told her that my husband's anxiety and temper were an issue. She asked me where the relationship was headed (a nice, non-confrontational way of asking if I would leave him), and I told her things were staying as is.

I'll have to cook, but otherwise, I am doing nothing today.