Sorry, I shouldn't post here. I'm not helpful to this community, I can't help anyone, and I can't be helped. I try not to post anything because I know I can only hinder, but sometimes the world is so bad....

I don't have OCD, and if I did, I don't have the money to go to a doctor. I've tried before... anti depressants, anti anxiety meds, anything that could theoretically cover up my sad reality. None of it works. After the pills are gone, the world is still s***, I have even less money, and I hate the world even more. Pets don't make me any better, exercise doesn't make it better. I try so hard to keep it to myself, not to bring anyone down with me, but there's no escape, no relief, and the pain only gets worse with time.

I need to die. Why am I still struggling here? I'm useless to the world, and it's useless to me. I can sit here alone and suffer forever, occasionally throwing fits like this, making other people try to help even though I know they can't, causing stress, and pain and nothing else.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come back, I just have no one to talk to.