My husband is the "boss", but in a lot of ways he really isn't. When it comes to situations like this, he's a hot head and incapable of handling matters himself. He gets lost and needs me to take the reigns, and given the right circumstances, and enough time to adjust, I'm pretty ****ing savvy. Unfortunately all of this is all a reminder that there's another side of me, the bipolar side, which is absolutely dysfunctional.

Things are getting harder for me physically (minus the magic of mania) and it was particularly clear yesterday. While I was struggling to get my groceries into the apartment, it occurred to me that we do have a way out of the lease…

I have a progressive disabling disease and getting in and out of the apartment is getting too hard for me- and it's not a lie. It is grounds to terminate a lease without penalty. It would be a dream to have a more accessible apartment. I see my neurologist next month and will ask for a letter.

Yesterday was also a reminder that I need to start slowing down. I shouldn't have done the grocery shopping because my body was telling me not to, and I can't keep carrying grocery bags in like that. My husband needs to start carrying his own weight.