The dreaded Black Dog cloud has descended, DB very distressed and is asleep as I type. It's mid-day. We had the retic man round to fix the retic, ticked box, appliance man booked for tomorrow afternoon another ticked box. Even as we get things repaired he seems to be slipping further away. Mentioned last night the urge to drink has been horrendous these last 2 days. His exhaustion I'm sure is connected to the mental battle he is facing. I'm deeply concerned and don't know what to do, he asked me this morning what I thought about joint suicide. I replied it would kill our parents. I've suggested he contact his MKP support but he doesn't seem able to find the will to even make a phone call. Of course I'm not contemplating a joint suicide ever But I admit this last month has tested my own strength. I can only do what I can do and deal with whatever the cards turn up when they do. I wish I was stronger, I wish I was who I used to be.