I think it's humanly impossible to be even stronger Pamela.

I have no practical advice, as you probably know better than I do that his depression somehow needs to be addressed. Hopefully, when he has a clear moment, you can talk him into focusing on getting that treated with all the urgency it deserves, with medication if needed. I always take talk of suicide very seriously. And I do hope you can somehow get some help too, to keep this bearable for you. As strong as you are, this might be a good time to also think about you.