Stripped of a way of life I still hold on to apparently
Having to clean up the mess tiny metal flecks having to saw through a metal entrance door
Two large gashes in my floor I had put down when moving in
Just cried the entire time
My OCD kicked in big time
And they aren't done yet
Awakened again at three with a thump that seemed to be like a bowling ball
Letter to be sent to the above tenant
As I was assured by management
Allowing me to see it
I hope this will put an end to her
Lets call it a tick
As she apparently isn't well
It is so out of control
My blood pressure 169/100
And am on BP meds
My mind
My mind
To calm my mind
So want to shut it down
So don't want to feel anymore
So badly don't want to feel anymore
Yet I have a reason for existing
I will never kill myself as I still wonder
What was he feeling when he took his life at 47
I can't imagine to pain sorrow sadness whatever
I will never know
But this I know for sure
If I can put one foot in front of the other
And make it through the day
I pray my children will too
I have a broken body
That reminds me every moment of my day
It shouldn't be like this
But it is
So with a prayer and hope
I manage to make it to put my head on my pillow to sleep
And then only to be awakened in a very bad way
May Jesus Christ wrap his arms around me
and fill my Spirit with calm
Heavenly Father the Holy Spirit
Come into my being
In Jesus name
Amen
Me