My depression
A factor of many reasons
Given up anymore trials to the antidepressants
As none took care of the problem
But actually made the matter worse
And then the withdrawals
No more
So this morning I was hit with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude
A love for an animal who is in doggy heaven
Awaiting my Spirit to join him
By for now
The joy that my family wants to be in my presence is a big deal
My children my sister
My daughter who left rehab again
My youngest learning some life lessons that do not change even with social media
Relationship is based on honesty
Now she suffers the consequence
The one thing that means more than anything
Is being honest
She came clean
And is hurting
But understands the lesson
Proud I am of her
To think of my childhood at the holiday times
My father having card games that started on a Friday night into to wee hours of into early Monday morning to go to work
The baking
The sled rides in the chapel yard next to our home that had an awesome hill
The decorations
On the Christmas tree
The Hungarian traditions would put holiday candy on the tree
My baby sister was my responsibility
My crazy wacky loving middle sister taught me how to smoke
Got so sick
Oh how grateful my family wants to be together to WANT to BE TOGETHER
My baby sister
My eldest daughter and husband her high school sweetheart making the dinner
Their significant love ones with them
Corissa with her older siblings
My granddaughter who is just precious
Will have mommy there who left the program
But now can spend and do the holiday homework
Very simple for my granddaughter
Her first kindergarten report card show how very advanced she is
and it turns out her favorite subject is science
Just so happens to be mine
I have this feeling of warmth my lineage after me are coming together
A surprised due me from my boy as I'm told
My eldest who has been calling once a day just to see how thing are
And she misses talking to her mommy
This will be branded into Eva's memory
She is at an age that is so very important for happy good memories
How they form us
I began to speak with Heavenly Father
Not understanding why I must go through the diversities throughout my life time
And can see now it made me who I am today
And trust in the purpose it will all make sense in the end
In all my adversities I get it
And the tears I shed are happy ones
Overwhelmed of the idea my babies adults now will surround me and gift me with their presence feels so wonderful
So very sad my daughter could not follow through
Until the next try
With a prayer and hope she keeps trying
To call upon the Holy Spirit Jesus Christ Heavenly Father
and the angels to protect this family and to please protect them as they go through their journey in life and look to YOU FOR THE ANSWERS
I give thanks to our loving father
And wait let him take over
I'm never alone
Thank you Jesus
Grateful I am
Amen
Me