Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark in Idaho
Your brother will not likely ever truly get it. Few do. You need to find your comfort zone with relationships, conversations, etc. I know that the most important need I have with visual and auditory limits is the ability to have some level of control of my environment and time in that environment. If I sense I am hitting my limit, I need to be free to leave that environment.
Your past social network may not be the one for your future. Maintaining family contacts is still important. Finding a way to maintain communications with family is important. I struggled to talk with my 90 year old mother. Too much degraded transmission with wireless at both ends meant I needed to use a hardwired landline. It may make calls easier for you.
A concept to consider is simple. The dysfunctional auditory processing system often becomes limited in its ability to process complex sounds. Poor transmission, background sounds and voices, accents, and other auditory stimuli end up being chaos to us. If we can reduce or remove these conflicts, we can do better.
A prime example is calling customer service. If I get India or the Philippines, I have a strong accent and VOIP sounds to sort through before I can even begin to understand the sentences spoken. As I say, getting the Philippines is like talking to SpongeBob under the Sea. I ask for a domestic call center. It is worth the wait on hold because I can effectively communicate and resolve the need for the call. If I try to continue with India or the Philippines, it will take longer to resolve the need than the combined wait on hold and discussion.
For this reason, I try to avoid important calls with smart phones and speaker phones.
The same goes for conversations with groups.
It may help for you to get a better understanding of where you function best so you can try to tell your brother more. You seem to get very specific about anatomy and physiology. Rather than trying to identify the root cause, applying the same to understand the specifics of where you work best so you can moderate your life with targeted action will likely benefit you.
I am not hesitant to say, "Hold for a moment. I need to close a door so I can focus on our conversation."
Or, "Can you take the call off speaker so I can hear you better ?"
And, if your brother does not get it, don't let it get to you. It is your life.
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Thanks for your response and tips.
I try to avoid long considerations on the phone. I find my bose headphones are good for longer conversations and I wear them so they only rest on my right ear, as my left ear is more sensitive to sound.
I generally function best when it is quieter. Luckily some days I am not extremely bothered by big groups. Unfortunately, it is very hard to know when to expect these days. I try to wear ear muffs at the gym, etc. I think your other tips are helpful. My brother is the kind of person that would get annoyed if I said "lets go to another room", but it is a good thing to practice.